Grave Tales (2011)

When a young, genealogist decides to while-away her afternoon in one of London’s oldest and most eeriest of graveyards in her trek to identify a number of graves she does not expect to stumble upon the elderly gravedigger who is anxious to share a few horror stories with her. Sitting amongst the headstones, the gravedigger delights in telling her his first, ghoulish story -

ONE MAN’S MEAT  opens with a butcher who is down on his luck and his once thriving butchers shop is on the brink of collapse. However, his fortunes are about to change. A starving girl’s plea for food is mistaken as a come-on and when the butcher responds his over zealous behavior overpowers her and she drops lifeless in his arms. Fearing the authorities he hatches a plan. He’ll dispose of her body bit-by-bit in his shop. Now his few remaining customers cannot complain that the meat is not fresh! His plan works and the locals pour in craving his meat. But, it’s not long before his customers are complaining again, not because the meat tastes bad, in fact it tastes excellent, but because the butcher never fully checked the meat’s origin!

It is getting dark in the graveyard but the genealogist is fascinated and eager to hear the gravediggers next story, CALLISTRO’S MIRROR. A cantankerous old man is out walking one evening when he stumbles across an old, curiosity shop. Inside, an item catches his eye. It is a mirror, a mirror he immediately recognises. Anxious to obtain it from the proprietor he will not take no for an answer and is very persuasive. Back in his room the old man quickly places it on a wall and begins to examine it, desperate to uncover its long-held secrets. What he unearths is truling tantalising and, aware of the dangers that may lie ahead, he tries to resist. But he is weak-willed and he pays dearly for his prying curiosity.

The gravedigger delights at telling another ghoulish story about two escaped prisoners, Stanton and Duggan. Handcuffed together the pair enter the cemetery they are in and made towards the deserted chapel to find a Night Watchman protecting the grounds. Assuming there will be workmen’s tools, Stanton will allow nobody to stand in his way...

The genealogist shivers from hearing such a tale and, with the sun setting behind the headstones, she is anxious to leave. The gravedigger draws her back with one last horror story, DEAD KITTENS. An all-girl rock band have just recruited their latest band member. Somewhat naive, she is happy to do anything for the band and agrees to appear in a video to promote their latest album. All goes well until the time comes to film the climatic ending. Realising that the ending is going to be too real for comfort, she tries to escape but is powerless to resist and the video is completed with a - more-than-perfect - death scene.